Because first we thought we might try to sell it on, which is not as stupid as it first sounds.  To understand more about what we are offering then read on comrades…

Some questions you might reasonably want to ask:

Why?

The overiding reason is that we are simply relocating from Mallorca back to that squidgy and damp piece of land they call England.  Running a site about Mallorca from anywhere but Mallorca makes no sense.  Not only that, but even when we were based here, we didn’t exactly throw our full weight behind the project and although we always thought it had huge potential, we have other web sites and commitments that meant our attention was only ever fleeting and more often focused elsewhere.  EM deserves better.  We have let her down and we are sorry.

What are you offering?

Everything.  The domain, the website and all its content, 1 year of free hosting (and then only 6€ per month thereafter – or if you wish you can move it elswhere with our help), a full day training and on-going support.

Do I need to be a cyber-geek to run the site?

Absolutely not.  Essential Mallorca runs on WordPress, therefore adding new content is easy.  The back-end admin panel is very intuitive and of course the site is built so very little would need to be done to the layout (unless you wanted to of course).

Does it make money?

Short and honest answer – no.  But it could, it has huge potential.  Visitor numbers have fallen as we have neglected the site, but 12 months or so ago the site was pulling in 400 visitors a day.  Nothing like that now, but it does show the potential.  A very small income is currently made from Google adsense, and money has been made in the past from ad sales and affiliate marketing; but at the moment nothing of note.

How can I make money then?

It is up to you.  The site has been run more recently as a blog/magazine service with irreverent comment and some news.  You can continue along this theme and expand some of the other services such as a business directory, or you can move in entirely a different direction, entirely your choice.  Revenue opportunities can come from advertising, affiliate programmes (we will help you integrate a hotel price comparison service for Mallorca for example which pays generous commission), you can expand to offer new services such as property lisitings, classifieds, paid editorials for local businesses – there are literally countless options that we never got around to exploring.

So, how much?

Well, consider for a moment the amount of time, effort and expense you would have to go through to get a new site off the ground and get it to a similar point in its development as essentialmallorca.com.  You are looking at many, many hours of work and probably serval hundred euros all told.  This site can be yours for just 375€ – which includes full training and support.  For 100€ more we will assist you with setting up your own hotel price comparison service.

Let’s put that in perspective – as a web design company we would charge more than that simply to build the basic site shell.  This site is up and running, has content, has pages indexed on search engines and has visitors.

Interested?  Simply get in touch by email to info@uvavudesign.com and feel free to fire at us any questions you may have.

Tee Times España is a tee time booking service that uses a unique interactive map allowing quick access to the booking page for courses throughout Spain.   In addition to its tee time booking services it is also a golf news portal and offers a number of marketing services to golf courses.

Although the main site is in Spanish, it uses the GolfSwitch booking engine and is therefore available in a number of languages.

Visit teetimesespana.com now, or alternatively go direct to the teetime booking engine in English.

Mallorca has some of the most beautiful and varied hiking terrain in Europe, which for the most part is both accessible and well documented, however few would disagree that it is perhaps a feature of this island that is not showcased nearly enough.  The landscape is so breathtakingly beautiful, and offers such a rewarding hiking experience, that you wonder why those responsible for selling this island to tourists are not shouting this from the rooftops (or better still the mountain tops).

Still, we will try to do our bit and in the first instalments of this new feature, we will focus on the rocky peaks of the Serra de Tramuntana – a mountain range that begins at the cape of Sa Mola in Andratx in the south west and which runs north-easterly to the cape of Formentor in Pollença.

The mountain range is the northern backbone of the island and stretches for almost 90 km with an average width of over 14 km, a significant amount of which lies above 1000m.  In our first featured walk we will begin at the southern end of the range, at the iconic peak that is Puig de Galatzo, and in subsequent weeks we will follow the north-easterly direction of the mountain range to finish at Puig de Tomir in the north.  This journey to the top of Mallorca’s highest peaks will also take in Teix, l’Ofre, Tossals Verds, the mightly Mig Dia, Massanella, Roig and several other notable 1000m + sub-peaks.

We would be especially interested to hear from keen hikers willing to share with us their experiences of the truly awe-inspiring Serra de Tramuntana.  Anyone wishing to contribute can get in touch by email here.

So, stump up.  If you want it pay for it, and we’ll explain how later.  First, some background.

The BBC iplayer, itv player and C4 on demand are only available to internet users with a UK ip address.  UK residents pay the licence fee and therefore only they should have unrestricted access to this material.  Fair enough, although of course there is the small issue of all these channels offering their content free to air through Astra 2 and therefore available to anyone in western Europe with a dish and decoder.

Still, this is the way it is, but as always there are ways around the problem.  In this instance you need to sign up for a vpn account using one of many services out there.  VPN accounts are much better than proxies which cannot handle streaming video and are easily detected and blocked.  If you want to learn more about what VPNs are, view the wiki entry.

For now, it is not really neccessary to go into the technical details, the important thing is they allow access to BBC iplayer, and as an added bonus have a number of other benefits that amongst other things enable you to:

• Hide your real IP.
• Secure your internet connection.
• Get an IP address in another country.
• Prevent spying in your office/work/school.
• Bypass proxies and filters.
• Access blocked sites (like in Thailand, UAE, Egypt etc.).
• Bypass ISP speed limits on P2P networks.
• Play online games, use Skype, MSN and ICQ.
• Prevent online attacks.

For some, not having access to iplayer may be a minor inconvenience but for others living in apartments where erecting large dishes is prohibited, then it could be something of a lifeline; especially with the live streaming option available from the iplayer which coupled with modern methods of transfering content from your PC to your TV, means you can effectively watch the BBC output live on your TV in excellent quality.

The cost needn’t be prohibitive either, and some leading VPN services such as StrongVPN start at around 4.50€ per month.  There are many of these sites, which can find reviewed here.  Setting up your account is fairly straightforward, and all the sites have detailed instructions of how to do this.

A couple of things to note however.  Firstly, the faster your internet connection the better of course.  Those with a 3mb broadband connection will be able to view iplayer content at most times of the day, but expect some buffering during the peak hours.  Ideally you would have a 6mb internet connection as a minimum and in this instance should not encounter any streaming issues.  Use a service like StrongVPN then if you were encountering such problems then there is always the option of ‘switching’ server which is easily acheived through the control panel.

Also, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, those who have the older Telefonica standard issue Comtrend modem routers will likely entounter problems.  For those eager to access the UK on demand TV services then a small investment in a new modem router is probably worth it.

If you require any information or you would like us to assist with the set up for a small fee, please get in touch via our contact form.

Not even on the hottest day in England, and not even in the sea-front Torquay branch of Sainbury’s, would you see a fat middle-aged man in Speedos fingering plums in the fruit and veg aisle.

So why is it then then people think that doing exactly that in another first-world EU country is acceptable.  What is it about Spain that makes people believe that wearing their underwear in public places is either normal or acceptable?

OK, so I’m cranky, it’s summer.  It’s hot, busy and just as we reach the time of the year when the appeal of sitting on a beach doing nothing reaches its peak; we’re all indoors, working our sweaty butts off to earn enough money to keep us during the months when the appeal of going on the beach is at its lowest.  Go figure.

So perhaps I’m simply being a miserable killjoy.  Maybe, but what I am most definitely not is a prude.  Nudity doesn’t bother me in the slightest in the right environment, on a beach or next to a swimming pool for example.  Be naked, I couldn’t care.   But in restaurants and shops?  Surely not?

I’m not exactly buff, but neither am I a hideous mass of blubber, and yet I have never thought it right that I should walk the streets semi-naked.  I leave the beach, I put on a t-shirt, it’s instinctive.

Clearly others think differently.  Only last week I was in a small supermarket and while queueing to pay I was sandwiched between a fat hairy man behind, and an equally well-proportioned bikini-clad woman in front.  Both were sweating, both smelled terrible and both were caked in sticky, oily sun cream.  Quite simply not a pleasant experience.

I’m not alone, and earlier in the summer the mainland resort of Salou on the Costa Daurada became the first in Spain to ban shirtless and bikini-clad tourists. Alberto del Hierro, the councillor for Tourism in Salou said,

“It is not normal to go the market with your packet on show or round the tourist sites in a thong. One shouldn’t be allowed to walk the streets or enter public buildings in unseemly apparel. It gives the city a low-class look.”

Quite. Although I personally am never in favour of banning things outright, it seems that many of my fellow countrymen are so lacking in manners that perhaps there is no other option.

So, rant over, and all I can say in conclusion is PUT YOUR SHIRT ON FATBOY.

Or am I?  And this is the question I would like answering, because as a keen snorkeller, I’d quite like to know if I’m sharing the same patch of water with something capable of eating me.

The story goes like this.  A friend told me that he was speaking to a friend who told him (yes, exactly) that earlier this year two Great White Sharks were spotted close to Port Adriano and were subsequently ushered back out to sea by the Guardia Civil.  This story did (apparently) appear in a local newspaper but was largely covered up to avoid the inevitable girly reaction from people like me.

There are a couple of issues with this story however.  Firstly, the source (friend of a friend and all that); and also the fact that there are no Great Whites in the Mediterranean, are there?

Well, evidently there are – see this article; as well as many other similar stories you can find online.  As for the source, well I am assured this was no wind-up and that the info was passed on to my friend as a serious warning because he had recently been scuba diving in the very spot where the sharks were reportedly spotted.

I have been snorkelling many times around Santa Ponsa and El Toro, and it is somewhat unnerving to think that only a hundred metres away from where I often float on the surface of the water like a plump and juicy seal, two Great White Sharks were recently seen with napkins shoved in their collar.

Should you worry?  I guess not.  Shark attacks in the med are incredibly rare and as shark enthusiasts will say I’m sure, the Great White is misunderstood and is actually really cuddly and would rather tickle your feet than eat you.  Still, I would kind of like to know either way if this story is true, so if anyone is able to confirm the details, please add a comment below!

Enjoy the water folks.

The editor, fresh from his ankle transplant, is eager and ready to go with a veritable mountain of new articles, all typically bile-filled and inane of course.  Again, as always we appeal for assistance from anyone with nothing else better to do.  We would also like to hear from anyone who would be interested in taking this online magazine into print, because it might actually be nice to make some wonga from this darn thing.

The first of our new collection of articles will begin appearing here later today.  Hoorah.

Thank you for your patience.

I say curious, because ask any hotelier, particularly those from independent hotels or small chains, and they will tell you that they have been busy cutting prices for the past two years.  They were the first to react to the crisis, and remain pretty much the only sector of the industry to have reacted at all.

Check it yourself, but you can now book a good 3 star hotel in Magaluf, Palmanova or Magaluf for less than 20 euros per night throughout May.  Self catering apartments are available at 18 euros per night per room (with four sharing that is 4.50€ per person per night).  Exactly how cheap are hotels supposed to get?

It may be true that contracted rates have not come down much, but that is to be expected.  Of course hotels will seek to maintain the contracted prices at the pre-recession levels, because if they were to cut them, then it would be very difficult for them to negotiate increases again when the market fully recovers.  They keep contracted rates high, but when it is apparent that rooms are not being sold they issue special offers and the prices come crashing down.

I’ve no doubt at all that hotels are doing their bit.  But what of everyone else?  The issue of flights has been raised many times over the winter.  I’ve never before known a situation where there are so few flights in and out of Palma, and those that are available are considerably more expensive than flights to other competing destinations.  So why are there still no plans to cut airport taxes?

Mallorca is expensive, but it is not the price of accommodation that is the problem.  The issue is the cost of getting here in the first place.  Not only that, but day to day costs here remain considerably higher than in competing destinations.  The cost of food and drink has not fallen by anything like the levels we have seen in the hotel and lodging sectors.  Visitor attractions continue to INCREASE their admission fees and car hire companies have this year hiked up prices in a move so baffling that you lose the will to care anymore.

Putting more pressure on the hotel sector to squeeze their margins is unfair; that pressure should instead be applied elsewhere.  What is really needed however is assistance from government.  A substantial, albeit temporary, reduction in IVA for the travel industry would be a start.  What we actually get are INCREASES in IVA.  You really couldn’t make this stuff up.